Frantic shopping

As i ply my trade as a part-time fishmonger for a large supermarket chain, to put myself through university, I observe shoppers going mental. Especially around the festive season. I'll make sure to make a moan about how everything is reduced in the Christmas sales. Now, as i prepare myself for a nine hour shift on Christmas eve, i expect a ridiculous shift where i'll do nothing but serve the mad rushers, who decided to leave their christmas shopping until the penultimate minute. It's Christmas Eve, and i'd prefer to be sat at home, hyping myself up for Christmas Day, rather than working. If one customer complains to me about how cold the weather is, I'll probably scream 'go home then!'.

We as a nation, are constantly bombarded with the essential 'must have' for christmas, or the perfect 'stocking filler', just to pressure us into buying items. We as a nation, comply. The whole notion of Christmas cards is now lost on me. So much so, that my Mum now buys my cards to send out, and all I have to do is sign my name at the bottom. Let's face it though, they're all getting recycled in a week.  


I hate shopping. With a passion. I prefer shopping with a girl as they have unlimited amounts of patience, contrast to me who gives up after the first store. However, you people don't exactly make the shopping life easy. One such woman once overtook me, as if to say I was walking too slow, I am anything but a slow walker. I can't stand dawdling, and if I have somewhere to be, I get my Go-Go boots on. This woman, overtook me, only for her then to slow down in front of me to window shop. Had i not been paying attention, I could have walked straight into the back of her.


Then there's those people who decide to shop and spend most of the time looking at their phones. Somehow, you're in the wrong if you walk into them, even though they have no idea of where they are walking. The word idiot doesn't begin to describe them.


Additionally, you can't walk into a shop and have a browse anymore. As soon as you walk through the door you are pounced on by the nearest teenage sales assistant who is asking you if you're alright and if you need any help. If i need the help or to tell you that I am alright, then i'll come find you. Until then, sit in a corner and twiddle your thumbs.


Then there's the shopping jousting. The little game I play with myself where you target a fellow shopper who is walking straight towards you. Those who swagger along, thinking they own the shop, and aren't moving out of the way for nobody. The game, whoever moves, loses. You etch ever closer to the person, until they finally move slightly, thus avoiding you. I've had numerous collisions with shopping jousting, but it does make life a lot more fun.


When shopping for a special occasion, or at any time. Ask yourself the question: Do I really need this? or Would they really like that? Every year I get a box of Walnut Whips from a great. Each year they get thrown out. I know it's about the gesture and the thought behind the present itself, but finding that something the person likes, is of the upmost importance. Just think when you go shopping. Try to stay out of others way, and try to go along with the shopping flow. Don't go too fast when walking, don't go too slow, otherwise you might find me elbowing you in the back of the head. 


My next moan: Everything wrong with music concerts