Excess of emoticon

If we were to use the ':P' face in real life, people would presume we were having a stroke. Spending most of my hours on the laptop, there's a handful of networkers who over use emoticons. They will always put a smiley face after each sentence as if to say they are some sort of pills and cannot stop smiling. 

Being the generation that was brought up with social media, we needed an outlet to express our feelings, because the words can often get lost in translation. Cue, the invention of emoticons. A differential amount of 'smiley' faces that would help us convey the message we are trying to relay. 

For instance, the wink face ;) can make anything sound saucy. The smiley face :) can make the prior sentence more light hearted. And of course, numerous others such as the crying face :'( which does exactly what it says on the tin. 


However, most people hide behind emoticons. If I was simply to say 'I'm going to stab you', the person on the other end of the conversation would probably be pretty worried. If I was to add a smiley face to the end, 'I'm going to stab you :)' it makes the sentence sound satirical, and as if to say, I'm not really serious. When i could not be more serious. 

Below, the 5 stupidest emoticons ever invented. Use these against me and you most likely will get stabbed :).

:3 
The above, is not a face. If you were able to make that face in real life then you would sent off with a traveling circus and shot into international stardom due to what a freak show that you are. 

o.O

Everybody's eyes equal in size, and I have never met one person who is able to make one eye swell to near the double size of the other, after they found something intriguing.


:p
As explained above, you do not stick your tongue out in real life when saying something funny.


:~)
Will be the shape of your nose once I break it for using this face.


:L
I don't even understand this one. How does it connote laughing? L for laughing, or L for loser?

As you can tell, I am quite the aggressive social networker. I don't mind the use of any emoticon, but only in small doses. You stick your tongue out after every message and the chances are that i'm going to choke you with it, the next time I see you.

PS. It's my birthday in two days, so you should all send me chocolates, flowers and arrangement of assorted goods to make me feel like a princess.

My next moan: The Cost Of Driving